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Ten years ago, I had a habit of looking in the mirror to try to imagine how I would be in ten years. Would I have overcome my difficulties in life? What path would I have chosen? What kinds of friends would I have? Lovers? Where would I live? How would I look? Ten years later, I am looking into the mirror: I have some grey hairs now; my eyes look older, framed by deep wrinkles that formed from years of laughter (and of stress); my skin has lost a touch of its glow; I am heavier now. I see where I am in life: about to finish my bachelor's degree; gearing towards a Ph.D.; living at home with Mom again; still struggling with money. I look at my friends: they are different people now but of similar spirit. None of us are exactly where we want to be in life (are we ever where we want to be?). Some of us have accepted this sobering reality; others are hardly aware of it. Yet we cling to each other like family. I look at my ambitions: I still wish to do grand things with my life, only now I know more limits.

If I had known ten years ago, looking in the mirror, what I do now about the path I would have chosen to get to where I am now, would I have tried to alter things by changing my ways or avoiding making certain decisions? Yes. And no. I would be proud of myself for certain aspects about who I am now and I would be unhappy with myself for other aspects. I would be happy that I am still trying to do now what I wanted to do then and I would be unhappy about my continued efforts to shake off aspects of my personality that I found unfavorable even then. I am both embarrassed and proud of myself for what I have done in the past ten years. Most importantly, though, I would recognize myself, ten years later. I would be glad that I finally have a ground to stand on, and I would be glad that I am finally starting to put my thoughts into focus; even if there were plenty of bumps and bruises along the way.

Happy Birthday to me.